Fun at the farm

Date: Saturday, March 24th, 2012. 

Hares: Single Shot, Money Shot and Dreadful. 

Location: Annie’s Farm. 

Hash Number: 1660. 

Attendance: Who knows, probably about 60ish?

The hash returned to Annie’s Farm, up behind Adventure City, for a jolly nice run/ramble in the hills around the Forest Reserve. Hash Trash had been a bit erratic with attendance of late, and parental visitors were dragged out of bed and introduced to this “hashing” lark.

A good attendance yet again, and the runners were off one way, led by Dreadful, while us walkers went another with the shot twins. Up the hill, past several massive holes, blatantly dug to trap innocent hashers, we rambled on, passing the odd runner mark and check back.

At the top of the hill (Elv: 6,568, 565, 546m precisely) our intrepid band put on their oxygen masks and stopped for a quick hash hold, before wending our way back down the hill again.

The brave band were picked off one by one by some massive spiders, Hash Trash himself having to bravely rescue several web-caught wenches! Meanwhile, young Alexander Anderson bravely held off the man-eating giraffes with a nail file. Phew!

Off the 200 who set off, just a handful of us made it back to the farm, just in time to see the runners come shuffling back, ready for the fun to begin.

All gathered, and after a swift moment’s silence to remember those who hadn’t made it out of ‘spider gully’, Condom Man and Hamster (remember him?) got proceedings under way.

Straight away Elvis and Princess Fiona were called in for the crime of counterfeit haring, both stupidly wearing their hare T-shirts. Allo allo and G2S were called in to mark the run and walk with 9.25/10 and 23/19.5 respectively.

Newcomers were called in to the circle, Denny and Michael, from the UK, parents of Princess Fiona, as well as Andrew from the Copperbelt and Rohit from Canada, eh.

In a moment rarer than a Scotsman opening his wallet or a Yorkshireman getting his round in, the hash managed to muster 3 Bolton Wanderers fans in the form of Michael, Hamster and Child Abuse. While the trio got all dewy-eyed about Kevin Davies and discussed just how many umlauts Jussi Jääskeläinen’s name should have, a triple was called for.

However, Hamster wangled his way out of a forfeit with just the kind of behaviour we have come to expect and heroically called up Princess Fiona to take his place. Shameful, indeed.
Daisy was then called into the circle for her naming, and was duly named “Short Cummings” (owing to her reputation as a one-minute wonder)!

Captain Bill, Denny and Michael were also called in, having all arrived via British Airways in the morning, Captain Bill having flown them in (“flown” = pressing the autopilot button and then hitting the whiskey).
Next up was the forgetful Fruitcake (formally known as Elderberry) and Princess Fiona, who were penalised for losing a GPS and a broken umbrella.

Finally, Hazards’ barefooted gang were also called up for a down-down and we all toasted the latecomers Orca and Squits, who crossed the finish line as we were wrapping things up!

Which left just one last item on the agenda. Indeed, this week’s H*sh Shit accolade had a degree of inevitability about it. Ducking out of a forfeit here and a mismanagement meeting there, he finally had the barefaced cheek to show his face at the hash after 14-or-so months of absence.
Up stepped our very own religious adviser, Hamster. On went the pink and down went the potty, not a drop spilled! Well done, RA. On-On.
 

NB: Hash Flash pictures will be uploaded soon, as Michael’s stick wouldn’t fit in Princess Fiona’s slot (snigger snigger).