Hares: Rhino.
Location: Rhino's house.
Hash Number: 1665
Everyone knows where Rhino’s house is. And the Whole World can locate the invisible TEMO Hospital sign.
So, there was no need at all for clear directions to the Run/Walk/BBQ this weekend. As a result, by 3:15pm, distress calls were coming in thick and fast. Several car-loads were seen touring the Big Cock Roundabout, and at least one car ended up in the vicinity of Chongwe.
Up to 30 regular Hashers were AWOL/Missing in Action – even before we started. Or maybe it was the lure of the Hooter Tooter Band at MundaWanga, or the long Labour Day weekend. Anyhow, only 29 persistent hashers gathered in Rhino’s sunny and well appointed garden.
And the rest of you can mourn the copious beer, splendid BBQ and luxurious toilet facilities you missed – the latter alone worth a guided tour, as Best Kept Loos on the Great East Road.
Rhino had bravely set the trail all alone, in a spare half hour, and misled the gathered throng into thinking it was: “A short run with 2 HHs and no check points”. The last bit was true. We suspect this cunning trail was set from his car, casting handfuls of powder from the window.
Rhino had bravely set the trail all alone, in a spare half hour, and misled the gathered throng into thinking it was: “A short run with 2 HHs and no check points”. The last bit was true. We suspect this cunning trail was set from his car, casting handfuls of powder from the window.
Trustingly, we set off to the north, down the tarmac, with the runners playing dodge the traffic to disappear off into the unfinished (unstarted) bits of Munali, whilst the walkers enjoyed the suburban delights of Chudleigh. It was hot.
As the cunning trial got cunninger, both walkers and runners ad-libbed. Fruitcake ran very fast to lots of places by himself. Titillator, Wombat and Raspberry, on a short cut, rescued Root Rat, who had accidentally found the
one HH, whilst on an even shorter cut.
one HH, whilst on an even shorter cut.
Meanwhile, Look if you Like chose the stream (sewer?) skirting N’gombe to test the waterproofing on her new running shoes (not very). Miraculously, everyone turned up at Rhino’s as the BBQ was being lit, even Boy Blue.
As the beer flowed, the Movement to Conduct the Circle Sitting Down was quashed mercilessly by Condom Man. LIYL was not generous with her marking, giving the run Minus $20 out of 5 (the alleged cost of her new running shoes).
Child Abuse, as RA, castigated Nipples for forgetting to buy Diet-Anything, Raspberry for switching allegiance from Walkers to Runners to Ad-Libbers, and Fruitcake for generally being a Fruitcake.
The newly named LadyBoy really enjoyed his beery christening, and will consider more carefully in future his penchant for holding handbags for damsels in distress. Although it did suit him. Batman and Rhino won Down-Downs for having the oldest surviving T-shirts (1999?), although
Batman’s won’t last much longer if he carries on with his new laundry habits, which were noted.
And in fact, the sight of the crisply ironed creases so incensed and confused both RA and Hash Master alike, that they had to award Batman the Shit Shirt, to restore generally expected standards.
And so he donned it, with the circumspection due to his newly adopted sartorial splendour. All agreed that the future of Lusaka Hash was secure, with people returning from as far away asKigali, and most of the new-comers under the age of 8.
And anyway ,Orca has stepped up to set the trail next week. Fruitcake reminded anyone who was listening that there will be a BASH (Bike Hash) at Batman’s at the end of May for anyone silly enough (like himself) to prefer falling from a significantly higher speed and greater height.
We then repaired to the BBQ, where Batman, emboldened by his new recognition as Minister of Fashion, generously offered his well-cooked sausage to the gathered lovelies.
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