Date:
Saturday, September 1st, 2012.
Hares:
Orca, Polar Bear and Dreadful.
Location:
Enoch Kavindele’s land, New Kasama.
Hash
Number: 1684.
Attendance:
31.
As we stood around waiting for
latecomers at this week’s hash, it was almost impossible not to start
pontificating about nature and the spectacular scenery (including and in
particular the caravan with no wheels). Luckily any poetic tendencies were
halted with the beginning of the run.
The run appeared to start off
well and we skirted the edge of a hill, leaves crunching underfoot. However, it
wasn’t long before it all, inevitably, went wrong. The pack lost the trail, the
hares lost the plot, but at the top of a gigantic hill we found the first hash
hold –result! Orca duly informed us that this was not OUR hash hold and sent us
off on a classic Orca loop to stumble over stones and boulders. We reached
another hash hold, oh no, in fact, it was the same one! Deja-vu, again remarked
Bin Dealin! Confusion reigned as Swedish led us all astray and Dreadful got a
wee bit confused about his trail. Luckily, Drug Peddlar and Erin were at hand
to get us back on the right track and back to base.
Mosi overflowed as we circled up.
Condom Man gave the run 2/10 for awfulness but 15/10 for the location,
resulting in an overall score of 17 ½ /20: Very respectable. Golden Shower
dubbed the walk ‘the best walking trail ever’, but that might have had
something to do with Polar Bear’s threatening looks in his direction! We were
then all very privileged to meet our one newcomer this week – Not Floppy (look
at the ear!). She may have been called Aila. Cue some animal abuse with water poured all
over the dog and a few terrible jokes (What do you have on the top of a house?
Ruff!): Terrible, Condom Man.
Unfortunately, Princess Fiona was
back in the middle as RA. Golden Shower took the first down-down for a lovely
English rugby shirt marred by the fact it was worn by a South African.
Cockney-Zambian Sipho (returning after a long stint in London) obviously had too
much time in the grey drizzle and chills of the UK – hopefully his down-down
helped to cool him down after he complained about the heat!
Condom Man and G2S had their dirty
secret outed – yes, they had bought new shoes fairly recently, but had been too
chicken to wear them to the hash. Then the Zambian ladies (Single Shot, Money
Shot, Polar Bear, Orca and Twiggy) revealed their not-so-well-kept phobia of
rubber snakes - pretty scary.
Tripod was penalised for enjoying
the fact his family had buggered off again – family man, indeed! It may have
been at this point that Not Floppy got a bit enthusiastic about chasing off
small children with her ferocious barks (or maybe that was Purple Bush).
Sugamamma and Daddy’s Boy enjoyed
their moment in the circle for a lack of hash attire, AND claiming to have been
too busy for the past 3 months to attend the hash. There really is not that
much to do in Lusaka! The stretchers – Swedish and Bin Dealin’ showed off their
poses in the circle and a triple was called for – who else could make the
Swedish triple but Blow Job?!
No really important announcements
led us directly on to Hash Sh*t. Golden Shower clearly thought it was ok to try
to pull off the ‘Bradley Wiggins’ look with his ginger mutton chops and England
attire. Sorry, it’s not! The shirt came off, the gentlemen gawped and we got
stuck in to the rest of the Mosi.
On on! G2S
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